By; Anonymous

Picture this. You are seated in your crib, all alone, because it’s one of those days when you do not want to come into contact with other members of your species. It’s not like you decided to pretend that there was an army of zombies lurking in your backyard. Those zombie movies where there are lots of ’em, scared people screaming as they run in a bid to get as far away as possible from the blood-sucking monsters.

When you’re a bachelor there’s always that feeling of superiority that married men ache to have. A bachelor is still on the pitch and chooses to play at whatever position he fancies while the married man stays on the stands under the watchful eyes of his better half. Sometimes he can sneak into the pitch when bae isn’t looking. Other times he sneaks but then bae notices and you know what always follows. Enough with the bachelor thing now, let’s get to what I wanted to put across.

A scene that’s usually repeated in movies and countless literary works. A girl, or a bevy of sexy, voluptuous girls pass a group of ‘boys,’ usually sashaying in a manner that may seem natural. The men staring at them in awe (or is it in lust?) as they head in the opposite direction as if they have just seen the eighth wonder of the world. When you’re walking with your girl by your side, you’ll have to pretend and just walk ahead like nothing’s happened. Things ladies make men do!

Aside from the physical attributes of ladies we all like to talk about, there’s another aspect that half the ladies usually don’t get right. Make-up. Why would a normal, intelligent and self-respecting lady overdo her make-up? Is she trying o create another version of herself? Is she trying to be Nicki-Minaj? We always don’t say if you have too much make-up on ladies. We are told that it could give your self esteem a big blow or spark a conflict that will have you hurling endless insults at us.

I haven’t seen a single lady with bushy eyebrows, yet you’ll find one who has trimmed her eyebrows so thin it looks like she shaved them clean then drew lines. Or one with so much lipstick like those 5 year old girls who manage to get hold of their mothers’ lipstick and make themselves ‘beautiful’. You take one look at them and wonder how they spent 30 minutes in front of a full size mirror and didn’t notice what they got wrong. I could go on and on but then am not on a mission to make girls who love make-up think they have to take make-up classes. Ladies, keep it simple. Don’t overdo. We always know when you’re trying too hard.

 

 

 

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