You know you’re grown-up when you look at your girlfriend boyfriend or crush and start to envisage an end-of-a-fairytale lifestyle. You see yourself as a family person; spouse, beautiful kids, a decent home, and vacations at the end of every month. If you’re a young adult who’s been having such thoughts lately, then you’re perfectly normal. It’s that time of your life when you parents joke about you marrying someone they disapprove of, and grandparents start sprinkling matrimony wisdom on you. Anyway, that’s just a stage in the life of a human being, and I wish to avoid bothering you with the awkward experiences that accompany it.
Being an introvert isn’t something I can say is cool but it comes with loads of advantages. So I’m seated at one of the rooms in campus typing away on my keyboard when this guy comes so that we’re now two in the room. He greeted me then he took a seat, and within a few minutes he was busy reading and taking short notes. Our conversation was triggered when he asked if there was Wi-Fi in the room and I told him it was but the signal was weak. Turns out the guy was studying part-time (was doing hi Masters). He had a family too. He had moved to the coastal city of Mombasa a couple of years ago. A man I could sit and give an ear to. He explained that the Masters was just something he was doing to make him better qualified for jobs, just as many people who did it were (this was quite obvious anyway). Next time you go looking for a simile on the word “unpredictable” – I suggest “as unpredictable as a conversation.”
It reached a point where he said to me in a frank manner; “When you are 25, let no one lie to you that you are still a kid, get a wife and start your family.” What!? Am just three years shy of 25, so this came as a complete shocker. Am not yet done with my undergraduate studies, so the thought of marrying within two years of leaving campus is something I have never given a thought, yet here was a man who had tested it and proved that it could work. I just remembered sometime back in first during a philosophy class where the lecturer asked us to name a few philosophers. We mentioned the likes of Socrates and Plato. The reality is that we are all philosophers in our own rights. We all subscribes to a certain viewpoint of life and can make decisions based on our analysis of the various factors around us.
I don’t really know the right time to tie the knot. Maybe our seniors who have gained decades of experience can give us some advice. Most people will argue that the right time is between the ages of 27 and 30. At that age, most people are financially stable. A time when many are through with their university education and have secured a decent job. Those who decided to venture into businesses are already doing well and can afford to put aside some time seeking a lifetime partner. It is a perfect age. I spent some time pondering over this and came to a conclusion; no time is really the perfect time.
There is a certain age when you will be under pressure from parents to bring that special someone home. We are all expected to flow with society’s tide. Those who don’t are considered deviants and are less regarded by society. The marriage institution, I believe, should be treated with some respect. You don’t just wake up one morning and say, ‘Yeah. Am 29, I need to get married before it’s too late.’ Of you go. You meet someone, you both pretend there’s love in your relationship. Two years later, divorce. You realize you don’t always have to bend to the rules of society and culture. Marry at twenty-five? Yes good advice, but I will make my decision.